Post by Jimmy the Claret on Nov 16, 2005 16:00:43 GMT
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six
days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day
resting. He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've
made" said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to
call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For
example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth
while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there
will
be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people."
God continued, pointing to the different countries "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in
ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of
land and asked, "What's that?"
"Ah," said God. "That's the North of England, the most glorious place
on
earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in
the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the
World's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and
politicians.
The people from the North of England are going to be modest,
intelligent
and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world.
They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and
they
will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What
about
balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the bunch of wankers I'm
putting down South!"
days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day
resting. He enquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've
made" said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to
call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For
example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth
while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there
will
be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people."
God continued, pointing to the different countries "This one will be
extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in
ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of
land and asked, "What's that?"
"Ah," said God. "That's the North of England, the most glorious place
on
earth. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in
the North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the
World's finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and
politicians.
The people from the North of England are going to be modest,
intelligent
and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world.
They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and
they
will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What
about
balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied very wisely, "Wait till you see the bunch of wankers I'm
putting down South!"